filling up the empty nest

Spiritual resource to share:  permanent relationships

Micah and Gabe and I coming home from our time in Costa Rica

It's been the year of the empty nest for my husband and me. Both of my sons are off to college and a high school study abroad program and make casual references to "visiting" home from time to time. Although their grandpa (my dad) shares our household, there are still two empty bedrooms in our house.

For a while, I was fine.  I totally understood and was happy to see my sons take off, show some creativity in securing work and educational programs on their own.  "What cool kids," I said to myself, proud of them for their initiative, and happy to see their confidence and compassion in their choices. 

But there was also this niggling thought that I lost something... that I should have done more of this, that or another thing to make sure that they were fully equipped for life. Thoughts kept recurring like "Did I teach them enough about money management, laundry...did we share too much/too little about politics....did I teach them enough about God...???"  No area of concern was left untouched.  But this left me feeling adrift.  I mean, how do you answer those questions?

Studying Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures one morning, I came across this idea:

The relations of God and man, divine Principle and idea, are indestructible in Science; and Science knows no lapse from nor return to harmony, but holds the divine order or spiritual law, in which God and all that He creates are perfect and eternal, to have remained unchanged in its eternal history. 

This was my answer!  I know my relationship with God is intact, and the same is true with my sons' relationship to God.  I know that they have a direct line to God as Love, to God as Truth.  Because of that, my relationship with my sons is indestructible, unchanged and eternal.  It follows a principle in mathematics*:  if a=b and c=b, then a=c.  If my relation to God is indestructible, and their relation to God is indestructible, then my relation to them is indestructible.

The impact of this truth was immediate.  I stopped worrying whether or not I should call or intervene in a certain issue, unsure if I may step on their growing independence.  I stopped overly checking up on them via facebook.  (Yes - I was bad here.) I trusted God to direct them and guide them and I trusted their ability to discern their paths themselves.

I am still very much available to them to help out in any way that is needed and am their biggest fan, as is their dad.  But this inspiration and the ability to move forward was a big step for me, and a big relief. 

My role as a mother has changed.  All things grow.  And now I am looking forward to the next chapter in life with the same enthusiasm and awe at the infinite possibilities ahead for me and my husband, that I have for my sons.


*one of my newest areas of independent study is to understand the scientific concepts behind Christian Science which has led me to understand more mathematical concepts like the transitive equivalence relation. It's been enlightening!