Let’s just get right to it. If you are dealing with the anxiety of not fitting in (or feeling lonely, displaced, or alienated), there is a remedy at hand.
Counter the reasons for feeling isolated with the infinite reasons for joy
Perhaps you have been labeled as having some medical condition or disability; or an unwanted divorce or death has forced or you to go from married to single; you feel no one likes you or understands you; or your race, sex, orientation, culture, religion, education, family history, politics or values put you at odds with a majority of people in a certain group.
There are lots of seemingly good reasons to feel isolated. But there are infinite ways to counter and finally dismiss the feeling of not fitting in, replacing it with a peace and satisfaction that is natural and normal that leads to satisfying companionship.
Breaking up the destructive patterns of thought with light
Loneliness and isolation can go deep into thought, creating patterns of thinking that need to be rooted out and replaced with the natural force of God’s all-inclusive Love. God, Love’s characteristic is omni-present, so Love is right here, right now. Loneliness and isolation are unknown to God, just as darkness is unknown to light.
Note that ruminating thoughts are like a broken record, suggesting over and over again the same thing. This is key to identifying a self-destructive thought – it is not creative, it is not progressive, it is not comforting. And because of this, we know that it is not of God. The thoughts of God come naturally to us.
But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace. James 3: 17
The self-corrective and self-assertive nature of Life and Love
Christian Science teaches that God is Life, and Life asserts itself. Thoughts of Life (or God) are identified by movement, progress, freshness and originality.
God is Truth. Thoughts of Truth establish themselves and are identified by peace, permanence, purity.
God is Love. Thoughts of Love are identified by the harmonizing influence felt in relationships, in our bodies and in our actions. When we accept and yield to God’s government, (or being governed by the laws of God, Love) we can see the likeness of progress, peace, and companionship, etc. everywhere.
Heredity is no basis for feeling isolated
When a destructive pattern of thought enters consciousness, it fights for expression. Self-doubt or disease may try to justify itself by human history. The feeling that your parents/family/ancestors struggled with destructive pattern of thought can be countered by rightly identifying yourself AND others, not as products of ruminating fears, but as solid, progressive and loving reflections of an infinite God.
Never separated from Love
The belief that you can be separated from Life, from Truth or from Love is – at its basis a limited and divisive belief – characteristic of matter. It takes some pretty sneaky and subtle suggestions to believe that a person can operate outside of Life, when a person IS life. The very fact that that person is living is a direct expression of Life! All is Life and Love. The very nature of Love is inclusive.
Happiness is spiritual, born of Truth and Love. It is unselfish; therefore it cannot exist alone, but requires all mankind to share it.
The recurring thought that you are vulnerable or easily influenced (or easily hurt by other’s actions or reactions) can be countered by understanding that there are not many little minds vying for position, but one Mind, governing all Christian Science explains the provable or scientific nature of Love. And it goes further…
A knowledge of the Science of being develops the latent abilities and possibilities of man. It extends the atmosphere of thought, giving mortals access to broader and higher realms. It raises the thinker into his native air of insight and perspicacity.
Infinite possibilities exist now
We can overcome this belief of “not fitting in” which is a cover for the subtle suggestion that life is a series of mishaps, conflicts and dis-ease. God has given us the authority and the intelligence to discern our rightful role in Life.
God has given us not the spirit of fear, but of power and of a sound mind.
Overcome any sense of inferiority or isolation by knowing and being alert to any claims of limitation and division AND by knowing the superiority of Life, of Truth and of Love.
Remember Jesus' words, "The kingdom of God is within you." This spiritual consciousness is therefore a present possibility.
Infinite ways to experience companionship now
We are never alone. Always companioned by good, constructive, and satisfying ideas, we can move forward confidently, expecting to see the reflection of good in every thing we think and do. Go ahead. Express Love. Be kind to the next person you meet. Write that letter of gratitude to an old friend or mentor. Offer to help out your neighbor. Love, companionship, and satisfaction are right where you are.
For more background on Christian Science, read the book Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy online or purchase here.
But what if one does not have anyone else to bundle with?
I love the question "anonymous'" (above) asks ...I have actually been thinking about this alot lately...I think the answer (for me during those times in my life when I felt alone) was to go find someone to bundle with for even just ten minutes...go to the library and offer to read for someone whose sight is failing, serve at a soup kitchen, tutor at a school with few after school learning resources...giving never leaves you feeling alone...
Hello Anon
I remember asking this question long ago when I felt quite alone. I was encouraged by MBEddy's idea from Science and Health "Would existence without personal friends be to you a blank? Then the time will become solitary, left without sympathy; but this seeming vacuum is already filled with Love." It was a solitary time, but I got to feel a whole new concept of God as Love. There were mornings where I woke up feeling loved. This became the basis for all the new friendships that developed after that experience. It helped me to see that my happiness was not so much dependent on another person as it was about my relationship to God. .... God is my primary bundling source!
And thx Kate for that idea about giving. We never know how much we have love until we start giving it away! Thx again Anon for bringing up an important question!
wonderful analogy! i think it's the same one used in The Straight Story -- that fellow who drove a tractor across the country to visit an estranged brother and heal that relationship. He told the story to a young woman in need. And he walked his talk -- he bundled with his own brother.
it also goes along with something I love from Ecclesiastes:
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.
For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion.
But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.
Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?
nd if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.