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Showing posts with label raising sons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label raising sons. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

filling up the empty nest

Spiritual resource to share:  permanent relationships

Micah and Gabe and I coming home from our time in Costa Rica
It's been the year of the empty nest for my husband and me. Both of my sons are off to college and a high school study abroad program and make casual references to "visiting" home from time to time. Although their grandpa (my dad) shares our household, there are still two empty bedrooms in our house.

For a while, I was fine.  I totally understood and was happy to see my sons take off, show some creativity in securing work and educational programs on their own.  "What cool kids," I said to myself, proud of them for their initiative, and happy to see their confidence and compassion in their choices. 

But there was also this niggling thought that I lost something... that I should have done more of this, that or another thing to make sure that they were fully equipped for life. Thoughts kept recurring like "Did I teach them enough about money management, laundry...did we share too much/too little about politics....did I teach them enough about God...???"  No area of concern was left untouched.  But this left me feeling adrift.  I mean, how do you answer those questions?

Studying Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures one morning, I came across this idea:


The relations of God and man, divine Principle and idea, are indestructible in Science; and Science knows no lapse from nor return to harmony, but holds the divine order or spiritual law, in which God and all that He creates are perfect and eternal, to have remained unchanged in its eternal history. 

This was my answer!  I know my relationship with God is intact, and the same is true with my sons' relationship to God.  I know that they have a direct line to God as Love, to God as Truth.  Because of that, my relationship with my sons is indestructible, unchanged and eternal.  It follows a principle in mathematics*:  if a=b and c=b, then a=c.  If my relation to God is indestructible, and their relation to God is indestructible, then my relation to them is indestructible.

The impact of this truth was immediate.  I stopped worrying whether or not I should call or intervene in a certain issue, unsure if I may step on their growing independence.  I stopped overly checking up on them via facebook.  (Yes - I was bad here.) I trusted God to direct them and guide them and I trusted their ability to discern their paths themselves.

I am still very much available to them to help out in any way that is needed and am their biggest fan, as is their dad.  But this inspiration and the ability to move forward was a big step for me, and a big relief. 

My role as a mother has changed.  All things grow.  And now I am looking forward to the next chapter in life with the same enthusiasm and awe at the infinite possibilities ahead for me and my husband, that I have for my sons.


*one of my newest areas of independent study is to understand the scientific concepts behind Christian Science which has led me to understand more mathematical concepts like the transitive equivalence relation. It's been enlightening! 

Saturday, June 05, 2010

swinging like Tarzan

Spiritual resource to share: living fearlessly

It seems that many of life's challenges are about overcoming fear by letting go of those fears. When you let go of the fear, you open your eyes to what already exists - freedom, peace, grace and full joy. And you find that you can trust God, who is the source of all Life.

I had a wonderful reminder of this a few months ago while on a family adventure in Costa Rica. It was easy for my sons to talk me into doing another zipline tour of the Cloud Forest. Costa Rica is stunningly beautiful and to be able to soar over the jungle and steep grasslands is simply awesome! And I didn't mind the steep short hikes to get to the launching platforms where one gets locked into a pulley system before zipping down a cable that slices through the lush forests or zings high above the land and waterfalls.

But, on this trip, there was something called the Tarzan swing, and that was another story. You are still tied onto a cable, but you have to simply step off the platform into - nothing! I could do all the ziplines, but my knees were protesting the Tarzan swing. As I approached the drop off point, I couldn't move.

I decided not to do it. I confessed to the guide, thinking I would have a sympathetic ear, someone who would understand why I couldn't go ahead with this and let me go back with the others who elected not to do this event.

"This one is a little hard for me." I said quietly so as not to embarass myself in front of those who decided to do it. "You see, I am a little bit nervous ...." The guide leaned over and interrupted me, ".....so am I....." he said, and gently, but firmly, nudged me off the platform!

The rest of the group laughed. I screamed. And then, I flew!! Swinging down deep into a valley then swinging up to almost touching treetops, I could hear my sons and others laughing and cheering. I let out a perfectly articulated Tarzan yell.

Life is good.

Letting go of a limited perspective shows you how limitless life is. We can trust Life to be self-sustaining, self-correcting, joyous and eternal. All we need sometimes is that little bit of encouragement to take that first step out of a fear-based type of thinking to soar over problems and challenges and to experience the adventure of the Life that is God's.







To share your thoughts on this or to explore this idea further, please feel free to be in contact with me, add your own comments below, email this article to a friend, or add to the healing finds and sites on the web to the right.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

on the loose

Spiritual resource to share: freedom

Micah and friends on the loose somewhere in Europe



"This is the best time of life" my mother would say whenever I would ask her what her favorite time of life was. No matter what decade it was, I always got the same answer.

Looking at my two sons and what they are experiencing, I'll bet they would say that now - this is the best time of life for them. With so much ahead and so much to experience right now - I am thrilled with their reminder that the world is large and full of opportunities.

One son is in Germany sometimes traveling, sometimes staying in one place, always learning, always growing. The other son has just come home from school, and in between camping, hiking and mountain bike trips and family reunions, he is helping us here home with some construction jobs.

The graduation speakers at this last son's school were provocative and moving. I'd like to share a song one teacher sung which sums up just where our boys are at right now in their lives - and others their age. Its simplicity and childlike joy and wonder hit just the right chord.

On The Loose*

Chorus: On the Loose to climb a mountain,
on the loose where I am free,
on the loose to live my life,
the way I think my life should be;
for I’ve only got a moment and the whole world left to see.
I’ll be searching for tomorrow on the loose...

Have you ever seen a sunrise turn the sky completely red?
Have you slept beneath the moon and stars with a pine bough for your bed?
Can you sit and talk with friends although a word is never said...
then you’re just like me and you’ve been on the loose...

Chorus: On the Loose to climb a mountain,
on the loose where I am free,
on the loose to live my life,
the way I think my life should be;
for I’ve only got a moment and the whole world left to see.
I’ll be searching for tomorrow on the loose...

There’s a trail that I’ve been hiking just to see where it might go...
many places left to visit, many people yet to know.
But in following my dream, I will live and I will grow...
on the trail that’s waiting out there on the loose...

Chorus: On the Loose to climb a mountain,
on the loose where I am free,
on the loose to live my life,
the way I think my life should be;
for I’ve only got a moment and the whole world left to see.
I’ll be searching for tomorrow on the loose...

So in search of love and laughter I’ll be traveling ‘cross this land.
Never sure of where I am going for I haven’t any plan.
But in time when you are ready come and join me take my hand...
and together we’ll explore life on the loose...

Chorus: On the Loose to climb a mountain,
on the loose where I am free,
on the loose to live my life,
the way I think my life should be;
for I’ve only got a moment and the whole world left to see.
I’ll be searching for tomorrow on the loose...


*written by Steve Schuch (thx Kate!)







To share your thoughts on this or to explore this idea further, please feel free to be in contact with me, add your own comments below, email this article to a friend, or add to the healing finds and sites on the web to the right.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Parenting: giving our kids our best

Spiritual resource to share: our spiritual inheritance

Last Christmas, I heard the Hallelujah Chorus of Handel's Messiah being played over the radio. My older son crossed the room and I found myself tearing up when he asked "What's wrong?"

I remember being in a choir while in High School and singing this with hundreds of others in choir and orchestra. It was such a thrill. We were so jazzed and inspired, we were singing at the tops of our lungs. I lost interest in whether or not the notes were right on. This loud noise that came from all of us, at once, sounding relatively in tune was an amazing experience!

Part of my role as a parent is to make opportunities for my kids to experience life - its joys and thrills and then to be there when things seem to fall apart. How many times have I wanted to "give" an experience to my kids that I have had. At that moment, hearing Handel's Messiah, I realized that I can't give them all of what is wonderful and mysterious. They need to find and take that on themselves.

It was a bittersweet moment. All I could say to my son is that life is an incredible trip. Go far, drink deeply. My dad once said that I should go out, explore the world. I could always come back, lick my wounds, but then go out again. Wise words from an old adventurer himself.

What we give our kids - aside from the basic food and shelter, millions of words of advice and counsel and our example - is to share what we have inherited from our brilliant, spinning world and to give them permission to explore it at their own time and in their own way.









To share your thoughts on this or to explore this idea further, please feel free to be in contact with me, add your own comments below, email this article to a friend, or add to the healing finds and sites on the web to the right.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

saying goodbye

Spiritual resource to share: knowing each other spiritually

Micah (Germany '08-'09) and Ben (Lithuania "08-'09)
cruising the beach on Lake Michigan

These last two weeks have been full of getting my sons ready to leave for a year - one is going on an international youth exchange and the other is going to a nearby boarding school. And then this last week was spent actually launching them and saying our goodbyes. This has all happened in the context of two communities of people all doing the same thing and I have made some wonderful new friends of the parents of kids who are in the same program and going to the same school as my sons. And we are all helping each other and encouraging each other as our kids head off to their own adventures.

It has been helpful to me to remember and think through again a number of things:

First, our children have their primary connection to God. “God is Love” as it says in the book of John. It is that simple. Our children, like us, are made up of Love: we connect, we grow, we nourish one another and are nourished. This fundamental substance of our being is never lost and, just as the sun is not disconnected from the light and warmth it exudes; we are never disconnected from this source of Life and Love.

Second, new experiences will draw out from them (as from us) new and deeper expressions of this Love. We all have this Love. We are made complete in God’s image and likeness. So these new experiences draw out from us what is already there.

Third, if I know my kids spiritually, I can never lose them. One parent once wrote about how she overcame her “kid-sickness” ( a new term meaning the homesickness a parent gets when their child leaves home for camp, etc.) The main point was that she realized that whether her daughter was studying in the next room or whether her daughter was living a half a world away, it was the woman’s thought of her daughter that never changed - and this changelessness was all spiritually based. My love for my sons deepens when I understand them from a spiritual basis. I can continue to support their love of adventure, their insight, their innovativeness, kindness and joy. I grow to trust their ability to make wise decisions, following Love’s leading and being a help to others. I trust God and I trust my kids.

And finally, I realize that as I love them through a spiritual lens, I am also affirming that they live in an atmosphere created by God, good. I know that Love is also supplying them with what they need. I know that “God expresses in man the infinite idea forever developing itself, broadening and rising higher and higher from a boundless basis.”

I draw my conclusions on this one idea. The love I have felt for them in the past is indicative of the growing love we all have for one another and will have. All things grow and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

Saying goodbye really then becomes saying goodbye to things outgrown and opening our thought and our love to the infinite new possibilities that are right in front of us.






To share your thoughts on this or to explore this idea further, please feel free to be in contact with me, add your own comments below, email this article to a friend, or add to the healing finds and sites on the web to the right.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Ideas about home - revisited

Spiritual resource to share: home

I've been thinking about home lately, with two kids ready to make new homes for the coming year. Home is such a dynamic idea, centering us as well as giving us that strong foundation that we can jump from.

I'm reminded of a conversation I had last year with a group of close family friends and my family about home. Here are some excerpts from a blog written a year ago:

Our German exchange student son will soon be leaving for home in two weeks and is taking my son who will visit with his family for a month. One of my two goddaughters is leaving for Sweden in a few days. Actually, there is a lot of coming and going, as our Korean exchange student son will leave also be leaving for home next month, and my other son takes his first plane ride alone to another adventure. So, last night, we talked a little about adventures and what that means about home.

"Home is the place where you grow up", said my goddaughter who has lived in one town her whole life. She's got one stamp of Scotland on her passport, and will be soloing into Sweden soon and next year has plans for Chile.

"Home is wherever I am now," said my son who has lived in four homes and three different states in city, suburban and rural areas and is packing for his first trip out of the country soon.

"Home is right here," said our German son, who has already done a fair bit of globetrotting for one his age.

I loved hearing their ideas about home as a presence and place to grow. Home is about the present tense.

A friend of mine, who was temporarily homeless at one point, carried in her pocket a toothbrush, a comb and a card that reminded her "Home is not a place, but a power." (She did get situated in a nice home and a neat job shortly after, by the way.)

This line is from MBEddy's main book Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures and has been a foundation stone for us as we build our own sense of home:

Home is the dearest spot on earth, and it should be the centre, though not the boundary, of the affections.


Home to me is an active force, open and as free as a breeze and stable as a rock. When my husband and I got married, we both loved the idea of home being a center and not having boundaries. We have opened our home to, well, it's almost twenty people, both individuals and small families, who have shared our home - some for a few months, others for over a year. Some were near homeless, others were transitioning into new jobs, schools and homes. We've all progressed and grown together and are the richer for these shared experiences.

We've had the added benefit of showing our sons that there are many loving people in this world, and everyone has something worthwhile to teach, and everyone has something interesting to learn. Our sons have learned how to collect feathers, identify gypsy moths, play piano and sing, and learn about opera, babies and other cultures - all from those who enlarged our family for a time.


Knowing that you can take home with you is a comforting and powerful idea. As my dad taught us kids, home is a safe place where you are always welcomed, and then encouraged to go back out again and have adventures.




To share your thoughts on this or to explore this idea further, please feel free to be in contact with me, add your own comments below, email this article to a friend, or add to the healing finds and sites on the web to the right.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

a lifetime of firsts - revisited

I am giving a lot of thought to parenting and celebrating how my kids and other kids I love are seeking out some wonderful experiences. ( I am tracking six of them: three are gone to all corners of the world, and antoher three are waiting to go within the next two weeks.) This blog, written about two years ago, has a message I am appreciating anew.

One day I got this bit of news from an old friend who had an announcement to make. She wrote:


Hi everyone,

This was a big morning for me and my 6'2" baby ... my son climbed into our car and drove himself to school today for the first time. ... It's like watching him take his first step, first day of kindergarten, first time walking to school alone, first time I left him at home alone while I ran to the grocery store ... all those big "firsts" that just seem to keep coming, an entire lifetime of firsts that bring us all joy and a little
trepidation!

Love, M.



This set me back to remembering all my kids' firsts. But then I started thinking how we are always involved in firsts. My first kiss, my first passport, our first house, first this, first that, etc. etc. etc.

Well of course! Life is a self creative force -- the "seed within itself" - and we reflect God as Life. What this means then is that our lives are ever progressing - "broadening and rising higher and higher from a boundless basis." Our lives are always a series of firsts.

Spiritual growth is accelerated when we let go of the old, outgrown ideas. Like, you can't start driving a car if you are still mourning the loss of your stroller!

I'm fascinated with the variety of Bible translations and came across this mix of translations to a Bible verse explaining how to put off the old man and bring on the new by embracing a type of resurrection in our daily doings. In doing so we are

  • freeing ourselves from the guilty feeling of doing work for nothing
  • purging our conscience from dead works or from those acts that lead to limitation and death
  • freeing our thoughts from those dead end efforts to make ourselves respectable

And, being freed from these old, dead end thoughts speeds our receptivity to bring on the new, fresh ideas - so that we can live fully -- glorifying God to the hilt!

God, as the source of creative brilliance, ongoing genius and everpresent love, knows Herself through Her creation -- us. And daily I m become more aware of how God sees me-- and all of Her creation -- as Her perfect expression. I know that I am not the same person I was when I was a child, or when I was a young adult. Likewise, I am not the same person I was last year or yesterday. I realize even more profoundly now, how true this is for my sons.

Each of us has the opportunity to drop the old worn out ideas for the new and fresh and so see our lives a parade of firsts. With these kids, this is as easy to do as it is to breathe.




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Wednesday, July 30, 2008

there are no big events


Micah, Ellen and Gabe skimming across the infinite


Spiritual resource to share: what is changeless



I am swimming in big events. Our lives have kind of swirled around teens traveling to all corners of the world. In the next month, we've got family and friends going to Thailand, Germany, Chile, Sweden, Lithuania and England and coming from Spain and from Colorado and another from Korea.

There is great anticipation for these events and - as we've seen with our tearful goodbye to our Thai daughter - a mix of sadness and grief/gladness and gratitude. I'll have to admit catching myself off balance here and there.

In quiet moments, I have found myself thinking through the idea that there are no big events in Mind (Mind, another word for God). This takes me to some fundamental truths I have come to trust and live by.

One of my favorite quotes from Mary Baker Eddy is that man is "the infinite expression of the infinite Mind." How then, can there be a big event in the infinite? It is all big. Or, in other words, it is all a part of the infinite.

My kids are not leaving one part of the infinite to go into another part of the infinite. God is always present. God is always there. God is always good.

I write a goodbye note to my courageous goddaughter who was ready to leave for Chile months ago. I know that all her Godlike qualities of adventure, joy and intelligence will be called on. I write to her: "Like a seed that has the full idea of a majestic tree, you, even as a baby, already had these qualities of God. These new experiences will draw out from you all that God has provided."


What is changeless is the divine adventure. The idea of "big" is lost in the infinite. Surrounded by omnipresent Love (a word for God), fueled by Soul (another word for God), and guided by Principle (another word for God), our kids live in an environment of God’s design. We are all swimming in the infinite! And that never changes.

Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.








To share your thoughts on this or to explore this idea further, please feel free to be in contact with me, add your own comments below, email this article to a friend, or add to the healing finds and sites on the web to the right.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

raising your sons by raising your eyebrows

Spiritual resource to share: loving and respectful discipline

We're back from a great vacation in Chicago! The time spent together - just the four of us - was wonderful. We hit up theatres and museums and different ethnic restaurants - everything we can't get up here in the northwoods- and had a blast! But my favorite part was just hanging out together in our rented apartment. We are family and we love each other, but it is especially nice to know we like each other. It reminded me to be grateful for the respect and love we share. In an old draft of a post written a couple of years ago, I wrote about raising kids with respect. Here's that post:

Two of my good friends are also parents of two boys. They explained that the dad had gotten the discipline thing down really well. He could just raise his one eyebrow, and the boys would know that they needed to stop whatever it was they were doing, re-think and re-group.

I love this idea! Although I don't think my eyebrows do this, the idea of disciplining gently and respectfully when our kids are caught doing something, well, not exactly right -- is certainly part of living the
Golden Rule.

I remember visiting my cousins when I was a kid. Once or twice, the youngest crossed some line of good behaviour. My uncle quietly took him aside, talked with him, and then my cousin could join us again. I remember the love and respect the whole family had for one another. Definitely a good role model for me.

So, the next time I want to yell out -- "Who left the door open!!" or "Get back up here and do the dishes!" I'll remember that perhaps more would be accomplished if I could just raise my eyebrows.
Love, respect and the expectation of good from one another go a long way.







To share your thoughts on this or to explore this idea further, please feel free to be in contact with me, add your own comments below, email this article to a friend, or add to the healing finds and sites on the web to the right.

Friday, February 01, 2008

mothers of men - revisited

Spiritual resource to share: no nonsense mothering

As a kid, I always wanted sons. I fell in love with the idea of having boys after watching Bonanza, (a television western series in the US). For some reason, I was stuck on having five -five boys who would be raised to respect men and women and their elders, and to be well rounded, robust and educated gentleman. Now that I have two boys (the more realistic and perfect number for our family) I have been totally captivated with them and have had to do some major re-thinking about boys.....They are not all like Bonanza’s Cartwright family.
To me, doing things right, means understanding the spiritual dimension of things. Parenting boys is no exception! So many ideas in Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures have helped me focus on spiritually parenting.

Mary Baker Eddy writes in Science and Health some strong facets about the role of parents, mothers in particular:
A mother's affection cannot be weaned from her child, because the mother-love includes purity and constancy, both of which are immortal. Therefore maternal affection lives on under whatever difficulties. (p. 60)

Under the heading of “A mother's responsibility:”
A mother is the strongest educator, either for or against crime. Her thoughts form the embryo of another mortal mind, and unconsciously mould it, either after a model odious to herself or through divine influence, "according to the pattern showed to thee in the mount." Hence the importance of Christian Science, from which we learn of the one Mind and of the availability of good as the remedy for every woe. (p. 236)
MBEddy understood God as Father and Mother. In her definition of Mother, she writes

MOTHER. God; divine and eternal Principle; Life, Truth, and Love. (p. 592)


My visits with old friends who are also mothers of men reminded of how important it was to have the support of other mothers. Raising children is intense. But boy energy is a chapter in itself. As one friend said, “You have to laugh often! It’s either that or go nuts!”

Hillary Clinton wrote a book named after the African proverb: It Takes a Village (click here for a talk by HB on the book). Whether or not you like Hillary’s politics, the sentiment is sure. Having a village to lean on, help, support, laugh and cry with has been a major blessing to me in raising my sons.

As they grow and leave home to make their own way, I am reminded that we are all children of God and my sons, my husband and I will always be connected. Our home gets enlarged to include more of their friends, their new experiences and even new locations. Home is redefined as "not a place, but a power." And I know that wherever they are, home is.





To share your thoughts on this or to explore this idea further, please feel free to be in contact with me, add your own comments below, email this article to a friend, or add to the healing finds and sites on the web to the right.

Monday, September 17, 2007

pocket knives, motorcycles and a prophetic t-shirt

Spiritual resource to share: tenacity in prayer

A peninsula somewhere in the Sylvania Wilderness Area

Well, we had a pretty major adventure this last weekend - a metaphysical workout, a prayer extravaganza.

Here's the scoop: Saturday afternoon, our son started out for a run in the woods by his school, wearing shorts and a hoodie. He got off trail and ultimately lost. When night started closing in, he found a peninsula on the other side of a lake, swam to it, made a lean-to and waited out the night. At day break, he heard the faint hum of motorcycles and walked toward the sound until he hit a road. From there he hitch-hiked to the nearest place with a telephone (a resort ten miles away from campus) and phoned home about 8:30 am.

When my husband and I were first notified that our son was missing, Rick was at home and I was 4 hours away. After the call, I started reasoning: I knew the night was cold - down to about 40 degrees. There are occassional wolf sightings reported in that area as well as black bear, coyote and bobcat. The 1300 acre campus is surrounded by thousands more acres of wilderness. The terrain is beautiful - a fact that mattered very little to me at that time - filled with lakes, swamp and thorny brush - a fact that mattered a lot to me. I also knew that I had a four hour drive home and then another hour drive up to the school. I knew all that time would be spent in prayer.

To me, prayer is a very active mental state in which I literally talk to God at times, listen for inspiration, wrestle with fear and hold to a standard that I believe Christ Jesus taught: that God is love and constantly guards, guides and protects us. God, to me, is not a glorified human, but a power that is omnipotent, omnipresent and is the source of all intelligence and the source of our lives. Understanding that harmony and protection have divine authority has helped me to bring these qualities into experience time and time again.

When I first got in the car to head home in the middle of the night, it occurred to me that I was all set to go. The night before, I had gone to bed uncommonly early, had filled the gas tank and bought all kinds of goodies and drinks to take back with me. In fact, even a bag of veggies chips was half-opened and tilted toward me. It struck me that everything I needed, to the littlest detail, was right there. A small thing perhaps, but it was part of a larger law: "Divine Love always has met and always will meet every human need." If this was my experience now, it was my son's experience now as well.

I don't think the school could have done much more in its search. As soon as it was determined that he was not on campus, community and state officials were called in. My husband left to join one of the search parties. By now, Micah had been missing for well over 14 hours. I was receiving updates and support from the school and from family and friends every half hour on my drive up.

After a few hours of hearing updates, but no Micah, I got flat out scared. Holding back sobs, I just, well, literally cried out to God "Where is he?" And the answer came, quicker than I could end my question, "He's with me." This comforted me, and I knew that if I could feel this comfort, so could Micah.

Now this may seem odd to some, but I wanted to talk to Micah, so I did. In my thought and sometimes outloud, I told him what I wanted him to hear. I wanted to feel his presence and I did. "The intercommunication is always between God and man" and I feel that my needs were being met through God in a way that I could handle and make sense of. If my needs could be met in this way, I knew that Micah's needs could be met in a way that he could understand and handle.

A friend called who was praying with me. "Life is irresistable," she said. Of course, I thought. We are not swinging from fear to hope, from death to life from lost to found. Life is right now, complete and entire. Found is our natural state as we are never out of God's care. And love, a presence that can be felt anywhere and anytime, has no room for fear.

I trusted that Micah knew what to do and when to do it, that he has the presence of Mind (another word for God) to listen and act wisely. Micah is never separated from God - who is good, loving and protecting. And Micah would be led in the way that would keep him safe and protected. He could not resist doing the right thing! Knowing this broke that hypnotic hold of fear.

Well, once we were finally reunited, more of his story came out. He had found a pocketknife while walking. This pocketknife was complete with case, and included a saw, knife, screwdriver, scissors, etc. ("Oh, this is so God!" said a friend when she heard this.) This helped him build a lean-to. Building on a peninsula helped protect him from any wildlife. "Oh yeah," he said in answer to a question about wildlife encountered, "the coyotes were far enough away to be interesting."

Hordes of motorcyles groups pass through this area during this time of the year. I usually find this annoying, but now I'm pretty grateful to them - especially to that group who were noisy enough that early morning for Micah to hear their hum and head off to that road.

Our son said he was never afraid, sang all the songs he knew, and used the outdoor skills taught him by many of his teachers at the school. It was his own kind of vision quest, his own rendition of weekend Survivor and will now be a part of the school's legendary stories. The shock, swelling, cramping, infection, and fever predicted to happen never got a foothold in our son’s thought and he experienced none of it.

Now for something really funny. When Rick and others got the word that Micah was okay and found out where he needed to be picked up, he and another staff member went to his room to get him some warm clothes: long pants, thick socks, a fleece jacket. And then Rick pulled out of the drawer a long sleeved t-shirt. On it, it read "I have taken the road less traveled.......now where the hell am I?" Micah wore it back to campus with a huge smile.











Sylvania Wilderness Area. Photo taken on Clark Lake by H.G. Judd, June 2006.

To share your thoughts on this or to explore this idea further, please feel free to be in contact with me, add your own comments below, email this article to a friend, or add to the healing finds and sites on the web to the right.

Friday, June 01, 2007

"no loss can occur from trusting God"

Spiritual resource to share: trusting God



Coming home from a meeting today I just had to laugh at what greeted me at the door: about ten pairs of shoes - all about the same large size. You see, we now have five teenage boys living with us. It's temporary, as three of them will be returning to their home countries of Germany, Russia and South Korea this summer. But this counts and I can say that with our own two sons and these three, we have, in a way, five sons.

So why is this funny? Flash back to when I was younger. I always thought it would be so very cool to have five boys. It was my secret wish. I wanted to raise them all to be gentlemen and scholars. Cutting edge types who would be respectful and respectable.

But after a failed first marriage, that, along with other things, seemed to be a distant and unattainable goal. But it didn't stop me from desiring a full and fulfilling life. MBEddy's thoughts on prayer gave me so much hope:

"Desire is prayer; and no loss can occur from trusting God with our desires, that they may be moulded and exalted before they take form in words and in deeds."

Fast forward to some years later, when I met and married my soul mate -- who happened to be the oldest of (of course) five boys.

So now, coming in the door this afternoon, I look at the shoes of these five kids who are adventurous and kind, smart and generous. I am reminded that God answers our prayers and our deepest desires. And She does so in a way that I could never have outlined! This reminds me of another piece of advice I got from a longtime healer - to not outline good, because you can't outline good enough.

What an encouraging reminder that we can trust God with our prayers and be open to the surprising and wonderful ways that our prayers are exalted and answered. It is so good.










To share your thoughts on this or to explore this idea further, please feel free to be in contact with me, add your own comments below, email this article to a friend, or add to the healing finds and sites on the web to the right.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Raising sons








Spiritual resource to share: an emancipating love










(from my former blog: Mothers of Men)

I have done some pretty good things in my life, but none so good ( and engaging, rewarding, eye-opening, tiring and wonderful) as raising two sons. After adjusting my quota of number of sons I would like to have to be happy ( from five to two ), my husband and I have been happily tripping up the steps of parenting boys. I've read excerpts from a couple of books about raising boys, but I think my favorite is Speaking of Boys by Michael Thompson, PhD. Here is an excerpt:

For a mother to raise a boy means she gets as close as one can get to crossing the lines of gender. She will see the world through her son's eyes, and the world won't look the same. Mothers get to be adored by their sons, and that is really fun. She'll get to celebrate everything she has loved in men and help her son to become a good man. She will struggle with everything she has found regrettable in men, and at moments she will despair and say, "They're hopeless."


It will be an amazing trip, just as it is for fathers who have daughters. Your son will open your eyes, broaden your knowledge, and help your sense of humor. I guarantee it.

Its chapters are arranged in themes (like Sports, Friendship, Girls, Love and Sexuality, etc.) and have a Q&A format. They deal with the infant son to the adult son.

And speaking of fun and engaging books: a GREAT book for young boys is Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak; for preteens The Call of the Wild by Jack London ( is there a theme here??) and A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle.

My all-time forever favorite though is Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy (surprise! surprise!). Other books may enlighten me to the likes, dislikes and behaviors of children ( and others) , but I have not found any book that goes this deeply to define the spiritual and enduring nature of every individual and the relationship we all have to an infinite Father - Mother God.








To share your thoughts on this or to explore this idea further, please feel free to be in contact with me, add your own comments below, email this article to a friend, or add to the healing finds and sites on the web to the right.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Snippets and healing

There are small overlooked phrases from the Bible that have stuck with me for years. Concise little greetings and comments, that - when I have paid attention to them, have rewarded me with comforting gems and healing power. This one is from the King James version of the Bible, and it sounds so intimate and sweet. In few words it captures the feeling of God as a gentle father and wise mother:

“Oh Lord, my God, mine holy One.”

Another one: John, one of the disciples, often started his letters with a humble, loving greeting to those he had come to meet:

“My little children….”

And yet another desire of pitiful patience and encouragement:

“O man, greatly beloved, peace be unto thee. Be strong, yea be strong.”

And another one about people earnestly waiting for Jesus to come into town:

"And the people gladly received him, for they were all waiting for him.”

These snippets color the Bible with a familiarity of God that has lasted over thousands of years.

One morning, I had a Bible snippet come to thought. It was prior to a response Jesus gave to a man who had asked him a question:

“And Jesus, beholding him, loved him.”

I like the word behold. It is one of those full round embracing words. I could just imagine the compassionate look on his face, answering this rather cocky, but earnest man.

Well, one morning, my younger son woke up for school and said in a very thick voice, “I kennud talk. Muh voiy ih gun and muh thro huhrts.” (I cannot talk. My voice is gone and my throat hurts.) And then the phrase,

“and Jesus, beholding him, loved him”
popped into my thought. I love my son. So I beheld him. It then occurred to me that he might have to stay home, then I would have to get his homework for the day and then he would spend the next two days catching up. This was not helpful.

So instead, I prayed. It was a simple thought: A germ does not determine what Gabe does, God determines Gabe’s day. This day belongs to God. Period. Together Gabe and I talked about his identity as a spiritual idea and prayed with the "Scientific Statement of Being" from Science and Health (p 468). We finished. He finished breakfast. Got dressed. Said in a clear voice, “I’m off!” and took off for school, completely free of the sore throat.

Another snippet came to thought:

“Heal me and I shall be healed… for thou art my praise.”

(Bible quotes in order: Habakkuk 1:12; 1 John 3:18; Daniel 10:11; Luke 8:40; Jeremiah 17:14)


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