to the fairy cheerleader pilgrim in us all

Spiritual resource to share:  play

My twin nieces and their daddy

I opened the door to squeals of delight and hugs and questions.   Can I have some pie?  Where's Mocha?  Can we play now? What's in those boxes? Can we have a fashion show?  What do you think of my new boots? 

The nieces have arrived. 

The eight-year-old twins and the equally boisterous four-year-old had barely gotten off their winter jackets before the fun was to start. It was Thanksgiving.  But I am not too sure that that mattered that much.  What DID matter was that here was a time to be together and to see and experience everything in a new way.  We, of course, had to see the new boots, the new haircuts, and the new book and the newly developed talents of reading and drawing and cookie making.  Later, all the adults were treated to a fashion show, which is where we stood breathless, as we saw the incredible fairy cheerleader pilgrim outfit.

I blame it on the girls.  Kids tend to bring out the childlikeness in us all - and our innocence, laughter, joy, and goofiness just tumble out.  All inhibitions go out the door when the nieces come in.  So the challenge is -- can we have that same level of joy with one another?

Here's a wish to you all to give it a try -- pump up the volume of joy.  And do this in whatever occassion you find yourself in where there are others, just like you, with a latent reservoir of mischief and awe.  Remember that we are all made to play.  God is good.  All is well.  And may you surround yourself with extraordinary measures of  laughter and unselfishness and fairy cheerleader pilgrims this holiday season.

there are no big events

Micah, Ellen and Gabe skimming across the infinite

Spiritual resource to share: what is changeless

I am swimming in big events. Our lives have kind of swirled around teens traveling to all corners of the world. In the next month, we've got family and friends going to Thailand, Germany, Chile, Sweden, Lithuania and England and coming from Spain and from Colorado and another from Korea.

There is great anticipation for these events and - as we've seen with our tearful goodbye to our Thai daughter - a mix of sadness and grief/gladness and gratitude. I'll have to admit catching myself off balance here and there.

In quiet moments, I have found myself thinking through the idea that there are no big events in Mind (Mind, another word for God). This takes me to some fundamental truths I have come to trust and live by.

One of my favorite quotes from Mary Baker Eddy is that man is "the infinite expression of the infinite Mind." How then, can there be a big event in the infinite? It is all big. Or, in other words, it is all a part of the infinite.

My kids are not leaving one part of the infinite to go into another part of the infinite. God is always present. God is always there. God is always good.

I write a goodbye note to my courageous goddaughter who was ready to leave for Chile months ago. I know that all her Godlike qualities of adventure, joy and intelligence will be called on. I write to her: "Like a seed that has the full idea of a majestic tree, you, even as a baby, already had these qualities of God. These new experiences will draw out from you all that God has provided."

What is changeless is the divine adventure. The idea of "big" is lost in the infinite. Surrounded by omnipresent Love (a word for God), fueled by Soul (another word for God), and guided by Principle (another word for God), our kids live in an environment of God’s design. We are all swimming in the infinite! And that never changes.

Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.

To share your thoughts on this or to explore this idea further, please feel free to be in contact with me, add your own comments below, email this article to a friend, or add to the healing finds and sites on the web to the right.

making room for children

Spiritual resource to share:

childlike curiosity and goodness

We could all come up with dozens of qualities to list when it comes to children: joy, innocence, spontaneity, honesty (sometimes brutal honesty!) So when a respected healer and friend made the comment that we should all get more children in our lives - I knew what she was getting at. We all desire more of those childlike qualities, and we all needed to make more room for those qualities on our lives.

For some, this comes in the way of wanting to have children. But there are lots of other ways this can happen. The idea is to be open to children -- totally open, and see what shows up.

I have a favorite example of this. I once worked under a nursing home administrator as part of a course I was taking. This nursing home was very innovative in that it looked at the rich experiences of its residents and used their resources to enhance everyone's life at the facility.

So the residents ran their own convenience store and consignment shop, volunteered in the community, and taught and took a wide variety of classes from the typical arts and crafts classes to discussions on death and dying. But the BEST thing they did was to rent part of their space out to a child care program.

The administrator recognized the need for purposeful activity and the supply of grandmotherly love and wisdom that existed at the nursing home. She could also see that some overworked daycare workers needed to get some support in caring for their very young charges. The result was winning! Arrangements were made so that the child care program moved in to the lower level of the nursing home. Soon wagonloads of children were carted through the halls to the delight of the residents. The children’s chirpy greetings and laughter were infectious! Then those who could go and visit the child care room were put to work holding babies, rocking and singing and reading to them. It was brilliant!

Once when my oldest decided to go to boarding school, I was at a momentary loss. But it was a happy and progressive decision, and I realized that I wasn't losing anything (or anyone). In fact, it opened up possibilities to host other students at our house. I realized we could open up our house to all of our son's friends. This month, we had 11 of his dorm mates over for the weekend and last weekend all 22 of his cross-country team members and coaches spent the afternoon at our house after their state meet.

I'm convinced that no matter where we are in life - young and wanting to start a family, having a family and seeing your kids launch toward independence or retired - children - with all their joy and frankness and innocence - can always be a part of our lives.










To share your thoughts on this or to explore this idea further, please feel free to be in contact with me, add your own comments below, email this article to a friend, or add to the healing finds and sites on the web to the right.

children's poem

Spiritual resource to share: old favorites

When I was growing up, I saved my money until I could buy my own Bible and a copy of Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy. In them, I wrote a number of ideas, poems, pieces of advice and highlighted passages in these books. I even had a list of names for my future children (none of which I actually used)! Recently, I recovered my Bible and came across this little poem written in it.

I'd love it if anyone can tell me its origin! I still love this little poem..............

I am the place where God shines through;
He and I are one, not two.

I need not fear, nor fret, nor plan,
He wants me how and as I am.

If I can but relax and be free,
He will carry out His plan through me.

Photo by J Cartwright on Flickr
© All Rights Reserved.

To share your thoughts on this or to explore this idea further, please feel free to be in contact with me, add your own comments below, email this article to a friend, or add to the healing finds and sites on the web to the right.

bright skies

Spiritual resource to share: brightness in times of change

I have sung this hymn so many times when my life was going through some change. I think the first time I ever struck out on my own, this hymn was right with me, comforting me and assuring me of God's progress and Her tender care.

I have two boys, teenagers now, and this hymn comes into thought again as one is planning for a year abroad and the other is pursuing the fall and winter sports: football/wrestling/hunting - sports I never would have been involved in - except for now and only because of my son. So they continue their steps and leaps forward toward their own lives. It is exciting to see them take on challenges, future plans and their own laundry.

I see more clearly that these guys have come to us, complete with a mission and purpose - their Father -Mother God has their treasure. Nothing changes about my relationship to them because nothing changes about our relationship to God. And God keeps walking with us all.

Enjoy the poem!

In heavenly Love abiding,
No change my heart shall fear;
And safe is such confiding,
For nothing changes here.

The storm may roar without me,
My heart may low be laid;
But God is round about me,
And can I be dismayed?

Wherever He may guide me,
No want shall turn me back;
My Shepherd is beside me,
And nothing can I lack.

His wisdom ever waketh,
His sight is never dim;
He knows the way He taketh,
And I will walk with Him.

Green pastures are before me,
Which yet I have not seen;
Bright skies will soon be o'er me,
Where darkest clouds have been.

My hope I cannot measure,
My path in life is free;
My Father has my treasure,
And He will walk with me.

pocket knives, motorcycles and a prophetic t-shirt

Spiritual resource to share: tenacity in prayer

A peninsula somewhere in the Sylvania Wilderness Area

Well, we had a pretty major adventure this last weekend - a metaphysical workout, a prayer extravaganza.

Here's the scoop: Saturday afternoon, our son started out for a run in the woods by his school, wearing shorts and a hoodie. He got off trail and ultimately lost. When night started closing in, he found a peninsula on the other side of a lake, swam to it, made a lean-to and waited out the night. At day break, he heard the faint hum of motorcycles and walked toward the sound until he hit a road. From there he hitch-hiked to the nearest place with a telephone (a resort ten miles away from campus) and phoned home about 8:30 am.

When my husband and I were first notified that our son was missing, Rick was at home and I was 4 hours away. After the call, I started reasoning: I knew the night was cold - down to about 40 degrees. There are occassional wolf sightings reported in that area as well as black bear, coyote and bobcat. The 1300 acre campus is surrounded by thousands more acres of wilderness. The terrain is beautiful - a fact that mattered very little to me at that time - filled with lakes, swamp and thorny brush - a fact that mattered a lot to me. I also knew that I had a four hour drive home and then another hour drive up to the school. I knew all that time would be spent in prayer.

To me, prayer is a very active mental state in which I literally talk to God at times, listen for inspiration, wrestle with fear and hold to a standard that I believe Christ Jesus taught: that God is love and constantly guards, guides and protects us. God, to me, is not a glorified human, but a power that is omnipotent, omnipresent and is the source of all intelligence and the source of our lives. Understanding that harmony and protection have divine authority has helped me to bring these qualities into experience time and time again.

When I first got in the car to head home in the middle of the night, it occurred to me that I was all set to go. The night before, I had gone to bed uncommonly early, had filled the gas tank and bought all kinds of goodies and drinks to take back with me. In fact, even a bag of veggies chips was half-opened and tilted toward me. It struck me that everything I needed, to the littlest detail, was right there. A small thing perhaps, but it was part of a larger law: "Divine Love always has met and always will meet every human need." If this was my experience now, it was my son's experience now as well.

I don't think the school could have done much more in its search. As soon as it was determined that he was not on campus, community and state officials were called in. My husband left to join one of the search parties. By now, Micah had been missing for well over 14 hours. I was receiving updates and support from the school and from family and friends every half hour on my drive up.

After a few hours of hearing updates, but no Micah, I got flat out scared. Holding back sobs, I just, well, literally cried out to God "Where is he?" And the answer came, quicker than I could end my question, "He's with me." This comforted me, and I knew that if I could feel this comfort, so could Micah.

Now this may seem odd to some, but I wanted to talk to Micah, so I did. In my thought and sometimes outloud, I told him what I wanted him to hear. I wanted to feel his presence and I did. "The intercommunication is always between God and man" and I feel that my needs were being met through God in a way that I could handle and make sense of. If my needs could be met in this way, I knew that Micah's needs could be met in a way that he could understand and handle.

A friend called who was praying with me. "Life is irresistable," she said. Of course, I thought. We are not swinging from fear to hope, from death to life from lost to found. Life is right now, complete and entire. Found is our natural state as we are never out of God's care. And love, a presence that can be felt anywhere and anytime, has no room for fear.

I trusted that Micah knew what to do and when to do it, that he has the presence of Mind (another word for God) to listen and act wisely. Micah is never separated from God - who is good, loving and protecting. And Micah would be led in the way that would keep him safe and protected. He could not resist doing the right thing! Knowing this broke that hypnotic hold of fear.

Well, once we were finally reunited, more of his story came out. He had found a pocketknife while walking. This pocketknife was complete with case, and included a saw, knife, screwdriver, scissors, etc. ("Oh, this is so God!" said a friend when she heard this.) This helped him build a lean-to. Building on a peninsula helped protect him from any wildlife. "Oh yeah," he said in answer to a question about wildlife encountered, "the coyotes were far enough away to be interesting."

Hordes of motorcyles groups pass through this area during this time of the year. I usually find this annoying, but now I'm pretty grateful to them - especially to that group who were noisy enough that early morning for Micah to hear their hum and head off to that road.

Our son said he was never afraid, sang all the songs he knew, and used the outdoor skills taught him by many of his teachers at the school. It was his own kind of vision quest, his own rendition of weekend Survivor and will now be a part of the school's legendary stories. The shock, swelling, cramping, infection, and fever predicted to happen never got a foothold in our son’s thought and he experienced none of it.

Now for something really funny. When Rick and others got the word that Micah was okay and found out where he needed to be picked up, he and another staff member went to his room to get him some warm clothes: long pants, thick socks, a fleece jacket. And then Rick pulled out of the drawer a long sleeved t-shirt. On it, it read "I have taken the road less traveled.......now where the hell am I?" Micah wore it back to campus with a huge smile.











Sylvania Wilderness Area. Photo taken on Clark Lake by H.G. Judd, June 2006.

To share your thoughts on this or to explore this idea further, please feel free to be in contact with me, add your own comments below, email this article to a friend, or add to the healing finds and sites on the web to the right.

Keeping the connection with our children

Idea to practice: equality






At this point in our teen age sons' lives, they are finding their own way, their own likes and dislikes, political voice or lack of it, interests and finding out what are definitely NOT interests, etc.

Since considering having children, my husband and I have committed to seeing them as complete, not as little empty vessels waiting for us to mold and shape them. But really seeing that they are children of God, complete, entire, with their own God-given mission and direction. We are the ones priviliged enough to take care of them as they grow. Raising them has been an adventure as their own tastes and values grow, determining more and more their mission in life.

I have a framed poem On Children by Kahlil Gibran, given to me by a wise friend to celebrate the birth of my first son years ago.

On Children

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children."

And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

That poem has constantly reminded me of the role each of us plays, and the equal respect and dignity each of us is expected to show toward each other. Now, one son is already out of the house and the other should be around for another 4 1/2 years. But this time goes by in a flash. Cliche, yes, but true!

So us, being the bow, and them, being the arrow, how can we keep the connection while honoring their steps into manhood? I think the best advice I ever heard was:

Don't make a big deal of it.

Keeping the connections open and being available are so important. One friend has taken up knitting. Her focus is on knitting which makes it a safe place for her son to crash into the couch next to her and talk. Driving also works, while your kid is at the wheel. Another friend cracks open a book and reads near a warm fire, making her accessible and interruptible at the same time. Talking, while doing something else makes things easier.

I am finding that conversations are becoming more conversational instead of instructional. Their ideas, questions, dreams and ambitions are blossoming and taking root. And they are starting to find their own answers. As one friend said, you are moving from a child/parent relationship to a place where you both act out from the fact that you are both children of God - on equal footing.

So, how do you keep connections with your kids??







To share your thoughts on this or to explore this idea further, please feel free to be in contact with me, add your own comments below, email this article to a friend, or add to the healing finds and sites on the web to the right.