A spiritual response to bullies and being bullied

Spiritual resource to share: other's articles!

I have been praying about the recent reports of suicides, most recently of the suicides of a number of young men who had been bullied.

A spiritual healing response is demanded here.  I had planned to write a blog about this, but found Evan Mehlenbacher's interview on "A spiritual approach to bullying"

Evan's article is so thorough, it is well worth while to read it through.  He approaches the topic from the point of view of those who have been bullied and those who have bullied others; bullying when it happens with young kids, in organizations, in workplaces, in the military, or even in nightmares; how to protect and pray about bullying, and more.

Throughout the article, the power of love is explained and shown as an effective way to rid ourselves of any bullying tendency, and to strengthen our efforts in healing bullying.

Here is an excerpt:

...some of the different forms that bullying can take—for example, name calling, spreading gossip, or rumors about people. It could be making faces, it could be obscene gestures. A little more aggressive—on the level of verbal abuse, malicious teasing, or threats.


It could be physical in the form of hitting, kicking, pushing, choking, to get our way or to get someone to submit to our will. It could be less obvious, such as excluding someone from a group that they would otherwise be a member of.

In the workplace, it could be sexual harassment or just workplace harassment. In relationships, it could be a form of date or marital violence, child abuse. On a larger scale it could be the use of physical force in the form of war, terrorism. In the community, it could be gang attacks.

And they even have what’s called cyber bullying now, where, through the use of e-mail, slandering people, spreading malicious rumors, or just spamming you with a huge amount of overload e-mails. It takes many different forms.

But the bottom line is the bully is striving for power and control over a situation, and they work through fear and manipulation. They usually have no remorse about what they’re doing and show little sympathy.

The good thing is, it’s not normal behavior. This is not the way God created any of us. No one was born a bully. And that’s what we need to remember today. That’s why we can be healed of bullying and its effects, because it’s not ingrained into anyone’s behavior to be that way.

And so healing is possible. We can experience a transformation of character there and bring out more of the loving child of God that was put there to begin with.

... I’ve learned how to deal with bullies. I’ve learned a lot of spiritual lessons. And one of them is that love is a power that can transform an ugly situation to a better situation. It can not only protect us from being abused by the bully thought, it can also liberate the bully from the thoughts that cause them to act that way in the first place.

This is an important article.  And please continue with me and many others in healing this imposition on us all.
 
Again, click here to see the whole article

the bully blog

Spiritual resource to share: courage and forgiveness




Both my kids had big bully issues in their 5th grade with kids in their class. Ooh, these were hard. But what pulled us through -- bottom line -- was learning to love. Learning to love ourselves, to love the bullies and to love (and forgive) all involved including the same teacher who oversaw both bully incidents when they happened.

I've come across two bully resources and are good!

• spirituality.com had a live chat on A SPIRITUAL RESPONSE TO BULLYING: AT SCHOOL, AT HOME, AT WORK with Evan Mehlenbacher, a Christian Science practitioner and teacher
  
• A new friend recently wrote in suggesting a good story about bullies in a book of short stories for kids. The book is The Daydreamer by Ian McEwan and in it is a story called "The Bully". It is about a boy who realizes his viewpoint created the bully (who turns out to be rather wimpy). Geared toward the ten year old set, she suggests its a good read for parents too.

The first bullying incident happened over a period of time and I wasn't told about it until months after it was over. I was furious with the teacher who withheld this information. In those months I worked and prayed closely with my son who was struggling over a nameless something that he never disclosed. Once the whole situation was brought to light, and then after talks with the principal about no tolerance for bullies, and then to this teacher, I still harbored resentment toward this teacher.

I didn't really realize this until recently ( this would be years later) when I was talking to my son. As we talked about this incident, I could feel the resentment start to creep in. Later, I thought about this. Here was my son, who had already moved so beyond the situation, I think he was surprised that I remembered it. He had forgiven those involved and actually liked the teacher! He learned so much from that experience. A month or two after the situation, I remember him telling me how he helped another kid who was new in school deal with a similar situation. He moved on.

I remember some wisdom from a Christian Science nurse I worked with. Once, she was bandaging up a cut on a young boy's arm. After she was done, she calmly told the parent, "He won't remember this accident. And you don't have to remember it for him."

I needed to apply this to my own situation. My son moved on. I could too. I didn't need to keep remembering this situation as a failed moment for me - feeling that I failed to find out exactly what had gone on and failed to "fix" things quicker than they were fixed. I needed to see that he was always in God's care and God strengthened him, protected him and guided him. I knew I needed to forgive the teacher....but I needed to forgive myself.

Acknowledging that God is my son's Father AND Mother - I needed to see the teacher and myself as children of the same God, all being cared for, all working out our own salvation and all being loved. Then I could move on.

Bullying needs to be stopped in schools and many schools are developing a no tolerance for bullies approach to the problem. But I know that praying and affirming that not one of us are ever separated from God's protection, and knowing that we are all children under one God, helped to deflate the situation and erase any painful memories.





To share your thoughts on this or to explore this idea further, please feel free to be in contact with me, add your own comments below, email this article to a friend, or add to the healing finds and sites on the web to the right.