how to launch your first kid

Way back in May, I wrote about a major decision our family was making re: our oldest son's schooling. We made the decision (with the son as the lead decision -maker) to have him go to a school focusing on the environment, ethics and innovation. After many forms filled out, interviews and visits, we got the confirmation and all was a go. I couldn't be more proud of him for wanting to do this.

As the day is approaching when he leaves - which would be tomorrow - I find that there have been a number of things that have helped me on this path of launching my first child.

• I have come to peace about his leaving. But, even to consider it "leaving" is a bit off. It is more about being at peace with his growing - reaching out for new adventures, reaching back to feel the solid grounding of home, family and friends, and then reaching out, stretching, exploring. It is all about him getting ready to "Enlarge the place of thy tent, and let them stretch forth the curtains of thine habitations: spare not, lengthen thy cords, and strengthen thy stakes!"
• I see him more and more clearly as a child of God. He gets his inspiration, energy and direction from an all-loving omnipresent God. He is, no doubt, a cool kid with an amazing Father-Mother ( i.e. God).
• When I would get teary about him leaving, I realized it wasn't that I was sad for him, but for me. He is an engaging young man, a deep thinker and compassionate about many things. I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself.
• A couple of panic attacks hit me. Did we teach him enough about God? Is he confident enough to seek out his own adventure? Did we give him enough guidance? The attacks disappeared when I remembered that "Love is the fulfilling of the law." My love for our son is something I never question.
• In any endeavor, I have used as my measuring stick these three words: freedom, flow and growth. In any new endeavor that I have tried, I have asked myself -- is there a sense of freedom, flow and growth? If I can answer positively, I move forward. If not, I know it is time for me to sit back, pray until I feel an impulse - unselfish and fresh - to move forward in another way. I have felt these three things throughout.
  

I shared this with my son tonight, as we sat talking about the adventures that lie ahead and the home that he will always have. There is such a sweetness about life and I am so grateful that I can share this life with my two sons. I find that I am being launched as well - into those larger lessons that continue to point us to God.

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