infinite and intimate

This morning, I was toying with the different qualities of God ( see blog on Spirituality Matrix), and put together two seemingly incongruous qualites: infinite and intimate. Consider that we are intimately involved with the infinite God! Wrapped up in infinity.

There was a time when I was deeply discouraged and felt I had very few prospects. Worse still, I felt that God had abandoned me. This was after a divorce, after a marriage that I felt I had prayed about and felt sincerely that I was led to. Now, I had nothing.

Some friends I had counted on for support kept insisting, however, that I was loved and had not lost my connection to God. This idea of light broke through curtains of shame and guilt and self-condemnation. And I swear, it was that little spark of an idea that kept me going.

It was like that spark was all I had to go on, really. As I accepted that I was still loved, I started gaining the confidence in my prayer and in God again. My life had not gone as I had planned, but there was still a purpose to my life.

I knew that my motive for my life was good and true, and that I could transcend this feeling of futility and sadness. I knew that I would be pursuing this goodness throughout my life, and could feel, that regardless of where it took me, I could be safe, cared for and move forward in my life.

These were small steps at first, but I started seeing more of the good that God was leading me to: in a friend's support, in getting a new job and car, in appreciating a walk around a lake. A glimpse of beauty, accepting that I am good, a better understanding that God is my infinite source of comfort. These steps kept leading me out of a deep sadness.

These steps were like angel messages, guiding me "to the divine Principle of all good." I understood just how close we are to God. We are "fearfully and wonderfully made" and there is absolutely no way we can ever be separated from God.

As I understood the purity and soundness of my relationship to God, and the intimate love and care that God had for every detail of my life, I would see more of the infinite possibilities that opened up to me. I was wrapped up in the intimate love of God showing me that there are infinite possibilities for me. It was a turning point in my life.

It was a long journey, but I now see how much I learned and deepened my understanding of God.



For another article re: going through divorce, click here .



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