biting the dust - or how to be a model domestic genius

When my activist roomate of long ago and I were protesting US policy in Central America, inhumane treatment of animals and boycotting Nestle in college, I never thought we would become domestically destined. But sure enough, a number of years later she got married, and soon she was teaching aerobics, and being the full time stay-at-home mom.

And now, I find myself, the main stay-at-home parent, primarily working on building my Christian Science practice, while carrying the bulk of the domestic duties because my husband works on his two business start ups almost 24/7! In our twenty years of marriage we ALWAYS shared duties, but now the situation is much reversed.

Domesticity never came easy for me. When I was a kid, I was used to my home being a basecamp out of which I could jetison in several directions, bounce back in, crash, then bounce back out again. My parents made it a safe, orderly and accepting place, so like a strong fabric stretched taut, my bouncing always had a good landing.

But now, how to be the main architect of my own home ambience -- this was my dilemma. And how to do it so that I wouldn't be driven to distraction by the details and ongoing cleaning that was always needed.

Books helped. In addition to making me feel I was accomplishing something without ever having to actually do more work, some books helped me see the domestic realm in a completely different way.

Biting the Dust is a hoot of a read - exploring the cultural and sociological history of the obsession with cleaning and cleanliness in its spiritual and moral dimensions. Can you believe it? It is a must read for anyone brave enough to vacuum day after day.

My involvement with Christian Science nursing helped. A Christian Science nurse is expert at properly caring for the sick, and a background in understanding care and treatment from a spiritual basis. A nurse is also expert at contributing to and maintaining a healing atmosphere whether it is in a home or a facility.

And, learning about Mary Baker Eddy's management of her household was eye-opening: From one of her biographies: "The indoor household was run on the same basis as the outdoor estate: strict order and neatness, close attention to detail, a simplified and systematized way of life -- and a reckless, breathtaking genius for improvisation." (Mary Baker Eddy: The Years of Authority by Robert Peel, p.12)


I asked myself what I wanted to see my home express and listed what I wanted it to include:

• order, peace, an open armed welcome
• free of distraction
• systematized action so that the care of the house was as transparent as possible
• a model of the idea that caring for one's things relates directly to caring for one another
• lots of room for breathtaking genius!

So what did all this add up to?

• I felt that bringing order to my house was an act of love. This definitely elevated it from its former status.
• When the job is really tough, I put on music - and crank it up! Bonnie Raitt, the Soweto Gospel Choir, Ladysmith Black Mambazo and anything from Latin America can usually clean out anything.
• I do about 30 minutes to an hour a day of something. I divide up everything that needs to be done in 30 minute blocks, do it once sometime during the day along with one load of laundry. Then I forget about it.

I'll leave you with a song. It's my psalm of praise for housekeeping:

Drop Thy still dews of quietness, till all our strivings cease; take from us now the strain and stress, and let our ordered lives confess the beauty of Thy peace. (Christian Science Hymnal #49)

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