In the last six months, I have been to three memorial services -- each of women who were my mentors in different aspects of my life. One was my mother, my life mentor, another a designer, and another a Christian Science nurse.
Each time I attended one of the memorial services, I was hit by a concentrated dose of what was best about these three women: the unconditional love of my mother, the spiritual approach to design resulting in enduring expressions of home and comfort of my designer friend and the universal and open welcome of my Christian Science nurse friend.
Their enduring spiritual qualities I realized were forever. I could take these qualities with me and more than appreciate them and see them all around me, I could be these qualities of love, comfort and welcome.
I have heard and will share that once you know someone spiritually, you will never lose them. This is true. This has healed me of grief and inspired me to carry on what I have learned from these women and to build on the foundation that they have given me.
I have written a few blogs about my mother (click here) and a couple about my designer friend ( click here), but my Christian Science nurse friend, I have yet to write about.
Her service was memorable in that it was given in Arabic and English, and readings were from the Christian Science textbooks and the Koran. The theme that continued to play out as we talked among ourselves was her humble mothering and, over a lifetime, she and her American husband took in many international students who found a home away from home in their house. She and her husband took in many many people who were needing a place to stay. I was one of them who, when I was hurting and feeling lost, she and her husband gave me a place to stay and compassionate companionship.
Her first marriage did not last. It was to a Muslim and they had two beautiful sons. In a story of forgiveness and redemption that has yet to be fully told, she became stepmother to her ex-husband's three sons when their mother died, giving her a total of five sons.
The people coming to the service showed the breadth and depth of my friend's love. Muslim and Christian, Christian Scientist and Catholic, all generations were sharing memories of her, her cooking, her help, her love. She must have nursed hundreds of patients and friends and mentored dozens of nurses in her lifetime.
What was so amazing to me - and still is - was her humility and generosity and her capacity for unselfishness and forgiveness. She was so easy to be around, so welcoming. Could I ever be like that? I hope so. Like the story of Elisha, who asked that a double portion of Elijah's spirit be given to him when Elijah passed on, (see II Kings 2: 9), I was imagining if I could have even a tenth of her spirit, I would be doing well!
Grief has turned into commitment to carry on the love and comfort and welcome of these remarkable women. And in carrying that commitment out, I can never lose them.
* See the story of Elijah and Elisha from II Kings chapter 2
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